…late one Saturday night, she who is

ayeshalan

and I became an item. We got engaged a month later and were married two years after that.

These last few days, especially this day in this year, have been sad ones. And this choice is especially, unexpectedly, bitterly fitting.

But here we are, left to make the best of it.

“And So It Goes”
written by Billy Joel
Storm Front (1989)

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I’ve held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It’s just as well for all I’ve seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows

Been a while since I posted.  Afterhell is keeping me busy.

For those I haven’t kept in the loop, I decided to make the big plunge and get a MacBook to do my own sound editing.  I try not to talk about it much.  I don’t want the grief that comes with the user interface wars. I don’t want to hear about how great it is that I’m “leaving the Dark Side” or “making the big switch.”  If I wanted to hear that kind of crap, I’d hang out with neocons.

Meanwhile, for the last week or so, one thought has been haunting me, for want of a better word.  Nothing critical, nothing earth-shattering or cosmically important.  Just a memory.

An episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series brought it back for me.  It’s been a few weeks, so I figured it’s fairly safe to mention it now.

At one point, Starbuck flashbacks on the day she told her mother that she’d become an officer.  Proud, quiet moment.  She’s the first in her family to do it.  She was in the top five of her class (or something to that effect.)

Then her mother says, “Why weren’t you number one?”  Starbuck’s face just collapses.  Crushed.  Confused.

My father once did the same thing to me.

Hard to believe.  After all these years, I’m still going down in flames.

Newsflash for the neocon apologists in the audience:  Co-opting 9/11 for political purposes is poor ethics.  Lying about it is downright sinful.

ABC Television is going to ram some steamin’ hot propaganda down Lady Liberty’s throat, celebrating 9/11 like a horny Mongol horde.

“ABC, what is best in life?”

“To crush your enemies, see demm driven buh-fore you, and ta hear deh lamentation uff deh women!”

Let’s contrast such cynical knee-biting of the national psyche with a taste of hard facts, hm?

How 9/11 changed America: In statistics
To break the numbers down:

A) Defense spending has gone up $50 billion for every year since.
B) Mainstream news media report on Osama bin Laden, public enemy numero uno, less and less every year.
C) The airline industry has only just begun to recover.
D) The number of hate crimes against Muslims has quintupled.
E)  President George W’s approval rating is lower than Clinton’s at his worst…and has been lower for a few years.

9/11: Five Years Later
A study by Columbia University researchers reveals the following:

A)  Bush’s poll numbers go up whenever the American public is scared.
B) The number of terror alerts increases around national elections

“When you have media organs viewing fear-mongering as a payday,
senior politicians seeing fear-mongering as sound political strategy,
and terrorists considering fear-mongering as a victory unto itself,
where are citizens expected to find a voice of reason?”

–Matthew T. Felling, media director for the Center for Media and Public Affairs. 

Right, let’s remind everyone I’m still alive, neh?

Courtesy of cyber_istari and ayeshalan:

• Bold all of the following TV shows which you’ve ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime.
• Bold and italicize a show if you’re positive you’ve seen every episode of it.
• If you want, add up to 3 additional shows (keep the list in alphabetical order). (Mine are marked with an *)

Sorry to all and sundry for being scarce.  Your pains, pleasures, and other p-words have not gone unnoticed.  Just lots of work to be done.  I’m like Gandalf that way…maybe more like Sir Ian McKellan’s Gandalf, the one that takes only a few edits instead of 17 years to get back to you.  (Oh boo hoo, you Fourth Age purists — you loved it, baby.)

Anyway, now’s the day when we folks in the US o’ A make a big to-do.  Luckily it’s turned out to be a good day so far.

Space Shuttle Discovery is in orbit, safe and sound.  Not a peep from that stupid fuel tank.  Yeah, I know — it’s obsolete tech, never worked right, we have no business in space, yadda yadda.  The crew are fine.  With luck, they’ll be just as fine in three weeks.

I wanted to note the holiday this time.   Here’s a special something…for George and Karl.

The Universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice.
The language is not Narn or Human or Centauri or Gaim or Minbari.

It speaks in the language of hope. It speaks in the language of trust.
It speaks in the language of strength, and the language of compassion.
It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
But always it is the same voice.

It is the voice of our ancestors speaking through us.
And the voice of our inheritors waiting to be born.
It is the small, still voice that says we are One.

No matter the blood, no matter the skin,
No matter the world, no matter the star,
We are One.
No matter the pain, no matter the darkness,
No matter the loss, no matter the fear.
We are One.

Here, gathered together in common cause
We agree to recognize this singular truth and this singular rule:
That we must be kind to one another.

Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us,
And each voice lost diminishes us.
We are the voice of the universe, the soul of creation,
The fire that will light the way to a better future.

We are One.

–J. Michael Straczynski
Babylon 5:  “The Paragon of Animals”

And yes, I’m still angry.

Virtually since day one, I’ve been openly and bitterly opposed to right-wing politicos.  I scan partisan hacks with a jaundiced eye, regardless of where they land on the political spectrum.  I don’t need reactionaries of any stripe.  But for the longest time, I’ve held a unique distrust for conservatives in American politics.

Now check my math, but wasn’t the first scandal in United States history the work of conservatives?  Puritans, the religious conservatives of their day, got it into their heads that women were good wall hangings.  Right-wingers are the first to kill, the most eager for war, the most hungry for money and power, always the most afraid.  Attacking southeast Asia?  Their idea.  That third-rate burglary in a hotel.  Trading arms for hostages.  I could go on all day like this.  Then again, listing only their colossal screw-ups through history might crash the entire ‘net.

Okay, I’ll stop sitting on your chest and tell you what’s with me and neocons lately.  Illegal immigration.   I’ve been meaning to get a good flame going on this one too.  And yes, I’m Hispanic.  That doesn’t change the fact that their obsession with our southwestern border is becoming a right-wing fetish.

Mayhaps it’s arrogant of me, gentle reader (and kindly fuck yourself with sweaty gelignite if you think it is), but I’m sick of it.  Their whiny fears.  Their rabid complaints.  Their panicked backpedalling at justified accusations of racism.

C’mon, of course it’s racism.  They hates us little brown people.  They’s a-scared of my parents, my aunts and uncles, my nieces and nephews.  And yet they’ll tool around a parking lot in a pick-up truck and (ha-ha) picks themselves up a handful of “guest workers” for two bucks an hour.

And you know it’s about us beaners.  They don’t care if a white glassy-eyed psycho soaked in blood crosses the Canadian border.  If you’ve got a tan and can’t wait to make a decent living, you’re…an illegal alien!   Aliens!  Invasion!  Time to kick your hard-working, naturally tan ass back to Mars!

Boot.

Here’s the clincher.  Frank Luntz, professional Mr Potato-Head look-alike and neocon newspeak architect extraordinaire, had lent his skills at warping language and discourse to this issue some time ago.  Y’know, sort of the way Sir Isaac Newton had equations lying around just in case someone had to track a comet.  Luntz and his ilk prepared a document chock full of Orwellian doubletalk and catchphrases for this very subject.  And now it’s making the rounds on the Internet.

I’ve been going over this document.  It’ll cost me my blood pressure, but one must know thine enemy.  Admirable advice.  (Yeah, I’m going serious link-happy today, kids.  Good luck keeping up.  Marcel Proust ain’t got nuthin’ on me.)

Anyway, this is how Luntz’s Ministry of Truth intends to “frame” the discourse.  Make note of this.  These psycho-linguistic potholes are going to come at you from every aspect of the mainstream news media — viral advertising in its purest form, at its most brilliantly executed.  These are the words, the metaphors and verbal images that you’ll be bombarded with.  This isn’t some tinfoil hat conspiracy at work.  It doesn’t have to be.  All it has to be is ubiquitous, persistent, and repetitious in order to work.

“Linguistically, as you enter the debate, there are four key themes that must represent the core of your message:  prevention, protection, accountability and compassion.”

There, he states his intention to co-opt those words, to re-define what they mean whenever anyone in this country talks about immigration.  And now, their ideal framings for those four important words….

[On prevention:]  “If we stop the inflow of illegal immigrants, we can start to address the problems created by illegal immigrants already here.”

It doesn’t take much time for anyone to notice how absurd that premise is.  If prevention was really of interest, they’d stop illegal immigration at the source.  They’d work with the Mexican government (such as it is) to give the Mexican lower class a reason to stay home.

The hardline right-wingers paint Mexicans as moochers, as if they’re coming across the border to have fun at our expense and because they like to commit crimes.  In reality there are two simple reasons why people are crossing the border.  First, they want to make a decent living.  To feed their families, to live in good health, with dignity.  Second, they want to be free.  Violent crime is rampant.  And half of it comes from the local police.  Negotiate with the Mexican government, address these issues productively, and two-thirds of the human traffickers on that border will be out of a job.

But the neocons don’t really care about the poor.  They buy into the Calvinist view that you’re poor because you’re too weak to be rich.  In other words, they’re not really interested in getting to the heart of the problem.  All they want is scapegoats.  For two bucks an hour.

[On protection:]  “For most Americans, protection is as much about economic security as it is about homeland security – so say it and personalize it.”

Uh huh?  Yet neocons aren’t the least bit concerned about infiltration from the Canadian border.  And they should.  I don’t mean the Travis Bickle wannabe several links up.  I mean terrorists crossing the northern border, as they did back in 1999.  The Millennium Plot — the one the Clinton administration stopped.

But then you probably don’t remember that, do you, little neocon?  Too busy scanning dresses for protein stains.

Don’t let these yahoos play this protection scam on you.  The scary 9/11 card is their favorite play, but in the end, it’s just a ruse.  Uninspected cargo containers, chainsaw-wielding nutjobs, it doesn’t matter to them.  They don’t care what’s coming across our borders unless it’s got a darker complexion.

[On accountability:]  “Those who flaunt the rule of law should be held accountable.”

How about those who flout Strunk & White?  Fraggin’ morons, the whole lot.  Hey, at least when I do it, it’s a stylistic conceit or an honest mistake.  (A…an…?)  Meanwhile the Melanin Police over there insist on making English the official language of the United States when they don’t even know how to use it.

I dunno, what do you expect from the rabid followers of the Great Decider?  Maybe they were thinking of him when they made that error.  Little neocon, considering your complicity in torture, violating everyone’s civil rights, corruption, and elective wars, you don’t exactly have the moral high ground on any issue.

Just to be fair, let’s give ’em another bite or two at the apple.  It’s fun to watch them choke when they find the worm.

“We need to say to those who commit crimes: ‘you’re out of here.’ We’re not going to fund you in jail, we’re not going to pay for your food, and we’re not going to allow you to work out on weights. We’re not going to pay for your cable television. […]  We will deport you within 72 hours….”

Ooh, zero tolerance on vatos, man.  They’ll bust you, stick you in a cell and give you the first decent meal you’ve had in weeks!  But just for three days, ese.  Four days is gonna help the terrorists win.

[On compassion:]  “I do have compassion for illegal immigrants, but if I have to choose, I’m going to choose American citizens first….”

Fine, pick your own pinche grapes.   And clean your own damn house while you’re at it.  Then keep going till you clean up the whole federal government.

You don’t have to choose between immigrants and American citizens, Mr and Mrs Small Government.  Streamline the immigration process.

These losers like to gripe about how the country “punishes people who play by the rules.”  They’re the ones who set it up, made it bloated with bureaucracy, let it fall apart, and later replaced it with the Bureau of US Customs and Border Protection.  They’re also the ones who make cracks about clearing out crowded restaurants by simply shouting, “La migra!”

Wanna try it again?

“We believe that everyone deserves a second chance. If an illegal immigrant working here would like to re-enter the country as a guest worker and as a legal immigrant, they should be given that chance.”

Gotta love these neocon claims of compassion for people they secretly despise.  Whether they come in legally or illegally, neocons are still gonna bitch to high heaven about immigrants clogging our schools and our emergency rooms, about them taking our jobs and moving into our neighborhoods with their smelly cooking and how they breed like rats.  Burdening the country’s safety net…the very safety net they want to tear down.

Of course the true hypocrisy behind Frank Luntz’ s pre-manufactured bromides:  Under a section called Words That Work With Hispanic Republicans, the report suggests the following line:  “If we take human life seriously, we will take these human trafficking rings seriously.”  Not a point of policy.  It’s a talking point.

Talk.  That’s all they’ve got.  They don’t want to fix the problem.  They only want to sound like it.

Meanwhile I’m going to keep talking about it — burning — until they come clean or offer some real solutions, whichever comes first.

So you know this is gonna go on for a while.

Ever wonder why you hear about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but never about this stuff?

All-White Jury Acquit Milwaukee Police of Brutality Charges
(This link includes a rush transcript text and downloads of the story on “Democracy Now.”)

New White House Policy Chief Was “Brooks Brothers” Rioter

CIA Expands Operational File Secrecy
This gets complicated, so I’ll encapsulate the story a bit with quotes from the article:

• As they do every ten years, the CIA “conducted a review of its ‘operational files’ last year.”
• This refers to a file’s status as either “operational” or open to the public.
• Instead of removing files from operational status, the CIA “added twenty three new file category exemptions.”
• In other words, they’ve just made fewer files available under the Freedom of Information Act.
• They also twisted the law to do it.  The statute addresses only the curtailing, not the extension, of a file’s operational status.

The next time you read the paper or fire up the tube, ask yourself:  Are you sure you know what’s going on?

It’s been a while since I’ve made a posting on the personal blog here.  Much of my time and resources have been tied in completing Afterhell Volume 2, which is finally done.  Then came a slight rush of attention when “The Sonic Society” broadcast the pilot ep, “Dark Descent.”  Last week Eddie, one of our cats, had a bloody but fortunately minor crisis with one of his paws.  That required a few harried rides to the vet and the first of many pills for the poor guy.

As soon as all that was sorted out, my body practically crashed.  One bright side of that is, since I have to take a lot of rest, it gives me a chance to catch up on Old Time Radio shows and podcasts.  I’ve been listening to everything from TWiT to the 1950’s Nightwatch.

Of course not every podcast is ultra-shiny.  Once in a while, you find a popcorn kernel that didn’t pop.  Sometimes you find out that’s irritatingly awful.  So what have we got here in my big bag o’ podcasting.

This one is golden, fluffy, and buttery.  Here’s another.  This one too.  Now how about–ooh, here’s a bad one.  The Babylon Podcast, Show #5.

Wait, I hear you say, it’s a podcast about Babylon 5, one of the best TV shows evar!   How can it possibly be bad?

I impart a sad truth, grasshopper.  There’s always someone ready, willing, and able to ruin a good thing.

Anyway I tried Babylon Podcast #5.  I downloaded it months ago, but didn’t get a chance to go over it until this week.  And as starting points go, it’s a fitting one, I suppose.  (I R so clevar, R I not?)

BP#5 features an interview with Kurt DeFilipps, who was an assistant propmaster on the Babylon 5 series.  I figured, “They’re gonna talk about props.  Nothing controversial there, just a mess of trivia and a few laughs.  An easy listen fer sure, dude.”  It starts out well.  It’s a fun interview.  The end of it fizzles out, the way people keep talking long after they’d run out of things to say.

But it’s a fan-run operation.  These things happen.  With a little practice in front of the mike and behind the controls of a sound editing program, it gets sorted out eventually.  Same thing with the opening — they do their own self-indulgent version of the Season 1 B5 titles (“It was the dawn of the Third Age of podcasting….”)  God, it’s so childish.  Embarrassing and totally pointless.  But hey, they’re having fun.  It’s cute.  You cop it to enthusiasm and move on.

The rest of the podcast, however, is like passing a stone the size of a bowling ball.  Left to their own devices, podcasters Tim Callender and Summer Brooks lay into the pilot ep, “The Gathering.”  What’s the fraggin’ point in that?  It’s an easy target.  The pathetic, misshapen thing can’t even defend itself.  Everyone knows how bad it is, even with the TNT edits.  No great challenge to attack.  No real insights to offer, either.

It’s one thing to discuss or study the ep, but it’s another to just rag on it.  Tim Callender and Summer Brooks don’t bring any hard info to bear for context –like the fact that the production process on the pilot ep was a mess, low on money, short on time, director Richard Compton being forced to maintain order on his own, all facts documented by jms himself at conventions when he was promoting Season 1.  Instead they griped about the things they didn’t like.  Delenn’s ring.  Stewart Copeland‘s music.  The props.  The sets.  How various plot elements didn’t mesh well with the rest of the series.  How telepathy was handled.  How the Vorlon ships has logos on them (?).  How we didn’t see the Centauri Republic in the series resemble a tourist attraction as described in the pilot.

They can’t even respond to criticism with any semblance of credibility.  People were a little surprised by their criticism of Stewart Copeland’s music.  Granted, his score for the pilot didn’t resemble Christopher Franke‘s “Requiem for the Line” motif or anything.  But jeez!  Tim Callender snarked at a comment on the Babylon Podcast blog, “Yes, I was aware of Copeland’s pedigree (I also like his Klark Kent stuff).  And the Police recorded ‘Walking On The Moon’, so I suppose there’s an SF connection in there somewhere. 🙂 “  So he likes Stewart Copeland’s bloodline.  Nice thing to say, I guess.  And somehow a strawman in desperate need for an SF connection wanders into discussion on his way to see the Wizard…

Meanwhile Summer Brooks simultaneously backpedals and slags in the same posting:  “I didn’t think I ripped Copeland’s score at all… I just thought that the music changed the tone being set for the story. […]but honestly, does it stick in your soul like Franke’s theme does?”  Translation:  I didn’t rip Copeland’s score, but since I didn’t, I’ll take some time to do that now.  And of course the soul is an objective standard for anything.  Ugh.  It’s like watching Barry Bonds dig himself in deeper.

Jeez, did they like B5 at all?  Yes, they did like the fact that G’Kar didn’t cry out, how “he didn’t make a sound!” when he was being crushed by Delenn’s ring.  Even though he did.

They’re doing the best they can, I guess.  I mean, they confuse “Hunter, Prey” with “Points of Departure,” “Walkabout,” and “In The Beginning.”   Or nitpick things to death and call it geeky fun.  But they’re doing what they can.

Okay.  Fine.  Just keep me out of it.

By virtue of jms’ writing, Lawrence DiTillio‘s writing, Ardwright Chamberlain‘s voice work, and Jeffery Willerth‘s forebearance, one of my favorite characters on the show once said, “A stroke of the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.”

After this, I have a much more clear, much more bitter understanding.  [sigh] Let’s head back to the barn….

Courtesy of Tom Feeley’s Information Clearing House:

“Politically speaking, tribal nationalism [patriotism] always insists that its own people are surrounded by ‘a world of enemies’ – ‘one against all’ – and that a fundamental difference exists between this people and all others. It claims its people to be unique, individual, incompatible with all others, and denies theoretically the very possibility of a common mankind long before it is used to destroy the humanity of man.”
— Hannah Arendt, The Origins Of Totalitarianism p.227

Something to think about, sweet little neocon.

Being an info junkie can be a real drag, y’know?  I subscribe to zillions of mailing lists and online newsletters.  Sometimes I even read them.

Out of the swarm I got this morning, this popped out at me.  Remember back in the 80’s, when there were rumours of a Star Trek movie about Kirk and Spock as teenagers in Starfleet Academy?  Remember all the groans and trash talk over it?  It turns out that Ain’t It Cool News has found the script for that project.  And according to them, it’s not as bad as everybody thought.  Beam down a landing party and check it out.