Sorry, sorry… less than nothing for months, but tons of waiting.  If you’ve been able to read the Twitter box on this page, you’re probably aware of one of the many reasons why you’re still waiting for new eps.

In the meantime, I couldn’t pass this up:

Olbermann: Next GOP obsession could be zombie attacks

Another sad, nostaglic bye-bye.  Maybe it’s a bad habit, but hardly one I’m able to quit.

So who is this “Mr Excitement” to whom I’m bidding a fond, reluctant farewell?  The man’s name is Bob Wilkins.  He was the host of the San Francisco Bay Area’s “Creature Features” late-night show and “Captain Cosmic,” a little known sci-fi program showcase for kids.

Unlike other horror movie hosts, Bob Wilkins didn’t ham it up — quite the opposite.  He sat in a rocking chair, surrounded by skull candle-holders and cobwebs, smoking a huge cigar.  Instead of putting on a schlocky get-up and chortling about the next cinematic horror to come, he was cordial.  Unflappable.  Aloof in a neighborly Norman Rockwell kind of way.

And more often than not, he’d tell you to watch something else.  “Don’t stay up tonight,” he often said.  “It’s not worth it.”  It horrified his sponsors, at least until they saw the ratings.

For nearly ten years, Bob Wilkins’ deadpan drollery made “Creature Features” on KTVU Channel 2 a local Saturday night institution.  He announced each film with affectionate, blank-faced mockery.  He’d tell you it arrived at the KTVU studio in a brown paper bag, or how certain creatures in tonight’s movie had fallen on hard times.

Did you know that one of those teeny, tiny women from the Mothra flicks eloped with the Tidy Bowl Man?  Don’t gimme that look.  Bob Wilkins said it, so it must be true.

And once in a while, Bob Wilkins delivered a dark, dusky cinematic jewel — a choice Hammer film, one of the Universal Pictures horror classics, or something totally obscure and twisted.  His show was one of the first, if not the first, to run the dreaded “Night of the Living Dead” on television.

So you can imagine how thrilled my parents were to catch me, still in the zygote age-bracket, watching this godawful dreck hundreds of hours after my bedtime on a Saturday night.

Then one day Bob Wilkins showed up on daily afternoon TV.  And it was great.  I was able to watch him present tons of fun sci-fi stuff at a more respectable hour.  Bob Wilkins delivered it all with the same distant gentle humor.  His face was hidden behind a huge visor, and he called himself Captain Cosmic from the planet Cosmos.  But come on, I knew it was him.

It was cheaper than taking me to watch “Star Wars” five more times, and my mother didn’t realize for months the host was that evil man from “Creature Features.”  I saw all three Flash Gordon serials with Larry “Buster” Crabbe.  Tons of Japanese science fiction.  Cool segments about upcoming sci-fi, real-life robots, astronomy, and books.  He encouraged kids to read, to explore, and have fun.  Until my mom figured it out, it was bliss.

Even at that age, I could tell Bob Wilkins wasn’t really into all these genre stuff.  But he knew how to befriend an audience, no matter the age or background.  And he showed people of all ages how to find the worst in a bad situation … even if your girlfriend did accidentally feed herself to a rampaging carpet from outer space.

So yeah, for reasons even I don’t fully understand, there’s a five-year-old kid inside me that ranks Bob Wilkins right up there with Santa Claus and Captain Kangaroo.  And I’m not the only one.

Nominations are opening shortly for the 2008 People’s Choice Podcast Awards, presented by the fine folks at Podcast Connect, home to Geek News Central. If you’ve been enjoying our show, please take a few minutes and nominate “Afterhell” by clicking on the Podcast Awards banner at the left, or by visiting the PodCastAwards website.

Go give ‘em (After)hell! Thanks for the support!

This is a heads-up to let everyone know that “Bloodbath at the Giallo Hotel” will soon be removed from the Afterhell podcast feed.  If you wanted to check out our tale of gangsters, zombies, and other strangeness at the dawn of the Afterhell, but hadn’t had a chance, go grab any and all of the nine installments now!

The good news is that “Afterhell Volume 3: Bloodbath at the Giallo Hotel” will soon be released on CD!  This is the same award-winning story as on the podcast feed, but with a full stereo mix and without the podcast bumpers.  There will also be at least one bonus track!

Keep watching the skies this space for further news on Volume 3 … and Volume 4, in work now!

I’ll keep this short and simple. 

Months ago, a message board was set up for our friends at the Sonic Society.  But don’t look for us there.  Ollin Productions no longer maintains a presence there.

Jack Ward and Shannon Hilche, the co-chairs and delightful lead voices of “The Sonic Society,” were offered the use of a message board space.  It’s called Audio Drama Talk.  They wanted it to be the watering hole for audiodramatists, where people could share their knowledge and experience.

However, you can’t share much in the way of knowledge unless there’s a mutual sense of professionalism.  You can be as friendly, complimentary, and informal as you like.  But you need an effective work environment — a mature atmosphere — where ability and merit are welcome, not simply a token word of approval.  There must be room for disagreement and reasonable discussion, not conformity.  And you can tell that’s not happening when you get certain signs.  A grown woman (Jamie) is addressed like an irrational child.   Points raised are sidestepped, so people can discuss more popular views.  Someone appeals to community instead of merit, basically truth by majority.

Or when somebody says to you, “Did a director pee in your coffee this week or something?”

At that point, Jamie had had enough.  We asked Jack to delete our accounts.  So before anyone starts a rumor or smiles to themselves, Jack and Shannon can tell you:  We weren’t thrown out.  We walked.  Better things to do.  Death in the family, it turned out.  But that’s another story.

Also for the record:  We at Ollin Productions are proud members of “The Sonic Society.”  Jack and Shannon are good people, and we’ll stand by them any day of the week, even if it is a long walk from here to Nova Scotia.

Because it is.  A long walk, I mean.

How does affect “Afterhell,” you might ask?  If you want our take on something, go to the source.  Always the best place.

Okay, now this is something I can get behind.

Scientists Create a Black That Erases Virtually All Light

Brace yourself, ’cause it ain’t no hoax!  The Giallo Hotel podcast is back, fresh from our extended holiday season tour of purgatory and limbo.

Part Eight is the penultimate episode. Thus, the end is Nine.  Be patient for a little bit longer.  We’ll send Part Nine out as soon as it’s ready.

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  The “Giallo Hotel” podcast is really, really late.  Really, I know.  I’d give you a list of people to blame, but I’d hate to see all those people turning up dead.  Bear with me.  I’m working on it.

In the meantime, here is some sad news to wake up to.  I should know.  I did this morning.  Actress and model Maila Nurmi died in her sleep about five days ago.  We all know her as… Vampira!

Oh, c’mon.  Play this up, fer pete’s sake. 

Admit it.  She made this world a fraction more cool than it was without her, don’t you think?  She looked creepy and snarked about so-so monster movies long before it was fashionable. 

And Halloween would’ve been a little less sexy.  I’m sure lots of people thought to dress up like Morticia Addams before she did.  But Vampira made it the in-thing to do.

Well, that and she was one of the few highlights in Plan 9 From Outer Space.  She actually made that weird finger-wiggling bit pay off.  I mean, it’s not a selling point or anything, but….

I’ll close with a correction.  You won’t see this in the Wikipedia entry, but there is another musical tribute to Vampira worth noting, from singer-songwriter-and-really-cool-DJ Greg Kihn.  Go to his website and buy his “Horror Show” album.  Maybe I’m sentimental, tone-deaf, and in league with Jerry Falwell, but I swear the last track on “Horror Show” deserves to be a Halloween anthem.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  But if you ever visit the Giallo Hotel, don’t try the lasagna.

That’s right.  After a long frustrating delay, Ollin Productions is resuming the Afterhell podcast preview of Volume 3:  “Bloodbath at the Giallo Hotel.”  A modern-day gangland war has become a zombie uprising, turning a mobster-run luxury resort into a slaughterhouse.  Previous episodes have opened the door first to bloodshed, then tragedy.  Now the stakes are higher than the body count.  In Part 7, Boss Giallo and his men learn that surviving hurts even more than dying.

We beg our listeners for their patience.  And we politely request the naysayers keep the groans down to a civil level.  There are only two episodes left.  We’re doing our best to deliver a high-quality, lower-class bloodletting finale for “Giallo Hotel.”  And when the podcast is done, the entire story will be released as Afterhell Volume 3.

Beyond that, we have plans for a new storyline made especially for our podcast.  And Afterhell Volume 4 is already in production.

“Afterhell” is just getting started.  It’s not for everyone.  It’s not polite.  And it’s not going away.

Tuck in while it’s still hot, kiddies.  Best wishes to everyone for the holiday season.

Newsflash!  Afterhell is making another appearance on “The Sonic Society” with Jack Ward and Shannon Hilchie tomorrow night (4pm PST, 7pm EST, 9pm AST).

Tonight is the world radio premiere of “Sleepless Days.”  But tomorrow night, “The Sonic Society” on CKDU 88.1 FM in Halifax will broadcast a slightly more worksafe version.  We had direct input in the edits, bleeps, and bloops, so we’re cool with it.  Dial it on your radio or stream it for some tongue-in-cheek dark humor.