File this entry under, “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?” I won’t be expending a lot of blogspace or words on the election. Anyone who knows me can guess where I stand on it, assuming they haven’t heard me already.  No, you’ll get to dismiss my thoughts on a different topic altogether.
I need someone else to explain this to me. I’ve been a vocal supporter of feminism for some time. When the ERA was effectively crushed, I was stunned. I was in junior high at the time (called “middle school” in my neck of the woods.) But no one, not even militant feminists, has ever explained to me why the word “lady” is now an insult.
The discourse went something like this: I refer to someone I admire as a lady. Someone jumps on me for it; the perp usually calls me a sexist chauvinist pig. I explain I was giving someone a compliment. Perp says it’s an insult, not a compliment, that I was demeaning women. This is where it all falls apart:
I ask how the word demeans women. Instead of explaining that, Perp insists it was cruel, condescending, belittling, humiliating.
I lose patience and get confrontational. I asked about the word. Instead I get an emotional audit of the entire area. When forced to admit whether he or she is reading minds, naturally Perp denies it. The other person scrambles to regain some credibility, issuing excuses and ultimatums. I’m picking them apart, trying to separate fact from spin. But no explanation or definition of the word.
And it isn’t just me. Many others don’t understand why the word “lady” is no longer acceptable. Scroll down a bit and survey the comments with this entry of Cam Edwards’ blog. You’ll see more than a few people, men and women, scratching their heads on this whole thing. Consider it a testament to the confusion and rancor generated by the incoherent belligerence of poorly equipped intellectual warriors, who ransack casual conversations and social discourse like robber barons in the name of their chosen causes.
Yesterday, while smarting from the election, I got back on this issue by an on-air remark by Katherine Lanpher, Al Franken’s co-host on his Air America Radio show. She nailed him hard about addressing someone as a lady. Jesus, here we go again.
Feminists and pseudo-feminists have failed to educate me on this solitary point. I decided to get to the bottom of it myself. It took a few Google searches, playing with keywords a bit. I found (gasp) an explanation in, of all places, the March 2000 newsletter of the Victorian and Edwardian Ladies League, with my emphasis:
 Regarding our Question to Ponder: Are a Lady and a Woman the same thing?
[It should be reported that to modern feminists, they are NOT the same thing.
“Lady” is used as a derogatory term to apply to Victorian women who
allowed themselves to be held down. The implication is also that ladies
are/were childish and feeble, and extremely fake and silly in their desire to
be kind and to tend to others before themselves. Feminists instead use
the term woman to indicate the next step in the evolution of the female.
A woman has learned that she must not be a lady, and that it is her duty
to revolt against men, kindness, etc. I would refer interested individuals to
several twentieth century feminist works including Vera Brittain’s Lady Into
Woman: A History of Women from Victoria to Elizabeth and even Rene Denfeld’s
The New Victorians: A Young Woman’s Challenge to the Old Feminist Order
for more on the modern feminist rejection of the term ‘lady.’]
Now would it have killed anyone to read up and explain that?
On the other hand, maybe folks couldn’t justify their actions. In that context, it constitutes a socio-linguistic war, waged in the here and now, against the Victorian Age. Modern speakers don’t use the word “lady” in the same context as the upper-class of one or two hundred years ago. And yet we’re held to the same ancient account, plus interest, whether we made the investment or not. That’s revisionism, the rewriting of history to better control the present. Big Brother luvs yoo.
You can argue that the word “lady-like” is antiquated and even derogatory. Easily. “Lady-like” behavior has no place in the real world. In the modern age, women must express themselves with political power and harsh words just to hold their own.  We need women with backbone, integrity, and genuine wit.
To me, that describes a woman of substance. Someone worthy of respect. A class act. A lady.
Now here’s my problem. Does that make me a terrible person?
Maybe I’ve unintentionally redefined the word. Or maybe that’s the definition we should all use. Should I be punished for trying? Is the very word so dangerous that it must be completely excised from the language? How can such oppression be justified?
Sorry, I just can’t go along with that premise. We don’t need thought police to defend the honor of women everywhere. That’s hypocrisy. There is no such thing as equality through oppression.
A woman’s place is in control. But get your foot off my throat.